Friday, August 28, 2009

Final Call

A beam of sunlight, that's all it took. One moment he was part of a stream of people — comings, goings, meetings, partings.

The next, the flow split as it encountered him, reformed once it had passed him by.

And there she was. Hair so dark it shone, blinding him with that sunbeam.

And borne by that ray of light, memories streamed back. The whisper-light touch of that hair. The endless depths of the dark eyes beneath. The passionate caresses of her lips.

The flood moved smoothly around the fixed point he had become — afloat in time and possibility.

The sun moved and the beam winked out. His name echoed as gate attendants tried to marshal tardy travelers.

He hesitated, possibility trickling through his fingers like water. No longer shining, the dark hair seemed ordinary, no longer capable of summoning the past.

He almost looked again, but there were those promises of which the poet speaks.

He made his way to the gate, his boarding pass a talisman against memory.

Hearing a name from her past, the woman stopped, and turned...

23 comments:

  1. Our missed opportunities in life...
    Beautifully done, Kevin, as always!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, Kevin, that was terrific. Short and sweet, or should I say short and poignant?
    ~jon

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful - talisman against memory. I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely!
    >>He hesitated, possibility trickling through his fingers like water.<<
    I LOVE that line. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have such a beautiful way with words; always a pleasure to read.
    ~2

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, I thought he'd imagined her... and I'm still half-convinced she's not real, but a shade he's brought to life.
    How do you manage to pack so many wonderful lines into such a short piece? Do you ever write poetry?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you Laura. "What could be..." is such a wonderful mine in which to dig, no?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I was going for poignant, Jon. Without spilling over into maudlin. Glad you liked it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm a great believer in talismans - not sure they work against memory though. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you. Some of the images came easy, others not. But when they arrive - oh boy!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for both reading and commenting. Always appreciated.

    ReplyDelete
  12. As I wrote it, I also thought she wasn't real. Re-reading it, the thought occurs to change the last line from "...the woman..." to "...a woman..."
    I don't know if it improves or worsens it, but you got me thinking.
    My father once told me that, in such a piece as the above, each word has to be examined as carefully as if the piece were poetry.
    I have written poetry, some acceptable, some quite terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I read this as something more spiritual than physical, as the style made it feel a little ethereal. Am I barking up the wrong tree to think it could describe two souls bumping into each other on the way off this mortal coil? Poetic and tender and ambiguous. I'm reading into it what I want. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Dan, I like your perspective on this. It is the right (and, possibly, duty) of the reader to read into a piece whatever he or she wished.
    And, I firmly believe, it is the duty of the writer to leave room so such can happen.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Such a beautiful piece. "...talisman against memory." -Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Glad you liked it, Chris. Yeah - I got lucky with that phrase. :-}

    ReplyDelete
  17. Very powerful stuff! The imagery is what makes it for me. Definitely a piece that has can (and should) have many different interpretations. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I like how he's so fixed in time and space that everything warps around him like a river parting around a rock. You did a fine job of capturing that sensation. A tight little piece. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This to me is a complete moment, even though it is very brief, I feel I've experienced it fully, with the characters. I am sitting with Him in that poignancy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Each word a vision / of another life unknown / What a great flash piece.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thanks folks for the comments. I had fun writing it, I am glad the images, and the moment, come across as well as they seem to.
    @Cascade Lily - oh, well done! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I loved this piece. My breath caught when I realized that she had turned because she heard his name.
    So beautifully and economically written.
    Such a lovely snippet of frozen time.
    Karen :0)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Glad you liked the piece, Karen. It's really nice when the words come together.

    ReplyDelete